


Shorts/One Shots

by Megalodont



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Canon Gay Character, Chinese Character, Even Old Ladies Are Still Ladies - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Grandparents & Grandchildren, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Multi, Multi Chapter, Not Canon Compliant, She's Right You Know, So Married, au's, multipair, prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-08-13 22:52:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7989088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megalodont/pseuds/Megalodont
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some of these have Diana in them, some of them don't, some of them are canon compliant, some not. You can leave prompts if you want.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 'We did a trust exercise but you were too weak to fully catch me'

_**Canon: Maybe** _

_**Pairing: Leo/Diana** _

__

 

_**"Whoa, what, no,no,no!"** _

"Shit!"

"Ow!" Diana yelled,falling on her ass. "Leo!" She shouted, trying to get back to her feet.

"Sorry!" Leo apologised, backing away from her. 

"You fucking dropped me!" She yelled again. Jason, still holding Piper effortlessly, broke into a fit of laughter. "It's not fucking funny!" Diana barked at her half brother. She dusted her pants off and rose to her feet.

"It's not my fault I'm weak. I have skinny arms and I don't work out. It's a wonder I'm in shape at all." He plead. It seemed pointless, as the distinctive glare registered on Diana's face.

"You dropped me."

"I'm going to run now." He said, turning on his heel and speeding off.

" **Valdez**!" 


	2. I Shouldn't Have Said That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendly stuff, nothing romantic

_**Canon Compliant: Probably** _

_**Pairing: Nico/Diana[friendship]** _

_**Mentions of Graceangelo** _

 

_**"Hey, is Jason in?"** _

Diana shook her head at the son of Hades,holding the door open by leaning against it. Nico cursed,but inaudibly enough that Diana couldn't make out what he'd said.

"I can leave him a note when he comes back, or just send him over to-"

"No, that's ok. I'll just...Wait." Diana frowned.

"Drachma for your thoughts?"She asked. Nico scowled, before glancing away.

"No."

"di Angelo, I'm not in the business of letting people walk away from my cabin miserable.  And I'm pretty sure if I cracked open a dictionary at this moment and looked under  _Misery_ I'd find your mug." She said, straightening up.

"You wouldn't underst-"

"Try me, buckaroo." Diana replied.

"Buckaroo?" Nico asked indignantly, turning away.

"Nico, holy Zeus, just give yourself a break. Jason trusts me-why can't you?"She asked.

"Because things are  _different_ with you, you're different."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know if I can trust you. Jason has been wrong before and so have I." He said calmly. Diana's eyes fell on the dark circles under his eyes, the thin, straight lines of his figure and his spacey, calm demeanor.

"When was the last you slept?" She asked suddenly.

"Why should you care?"

"Because I tend to care about people Jason is friends with." She said.

"Two Months. "Nico spat out, Diana's mothering eyes finally wearing him down. "It was two months ago-or it could be more, hell if I know." Diana frowned.

"That's..."

"Of course you don't understand."

"When my mom died, I didn't sleep for weeks. I didn't want to eat, or sleep,or interact. I didn't want to  _exist._ I thought it was my fault, I thought it should have been me and not her." Diana admitted. If Nico was surprised, the emotion didn't show on his face. "My aunts, Mena and Tia, they died too. Because I didn't know how to protect them. " Diana was face to face with him now and tears stung at her eyes.

"Don't you  _dare_ tell me I don't understand, Nico di Angelo.  _Don't you dare."_ She said venomously. Nico wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Diana-"

"Jason is worried sick about you. When he's worried, I'm worried.  You have  _no earthly idea_ how much you mean to my brother."

It was Nico's look of confusion that jarred Diana.

"What?"

"I shouldn't have said that." She said, backing away.


	3. Put That Down, It's Expensive!

_**Canon Compliant: No** _

_**Pairing: Jason/Leo** _

 

_**Jason just needed toilet paper.** _

He'd intended to just go to the supermarket, grab some Charmin and go home.

But then Leo. Leo Valdez was the absolute  _worst_ person to shop with. Jason had initially refused, but Leo had whined and complained(You're practically abandoning me!) And Jason wasn't in the mood to argue. 

Jason knew he was in trouble when Leo had raced up to the automatic doors, waved his arms and making it seem as though he had magically opened them.

"I AM A GOD!" He shouted. 

"Yeah, the god of dorks." Jason laughed,  before moving to the baskets. Leo, walking right past them, retrieved a cart and pushed past Jason and entered the store. Jason rolled his eyes and followed the latino, who was slumping over the cart, puttering around like an old lady. Jason sighed, attempting to steer Leo in the direction of the toilet paper, but the cart driver had other ideas. Before Jason knew what was happening, Leo was tossing tortilla chips in the cart.

"Nachos." He said. Jason sighed, but if that was all, well. Jason was well on his way to getting out of here as soon as possible. Jason was not the type of shopper to linger and get sucked in by deals and bargains that would run him up more than just buying the items individually. He once again began approaching the toilet paper aisle, hopeful that Leo would leave stuff alone. He heard yet another bag russeling, and turned to see the impish Hispanic boy hauling a bag of dog food bigger than he was.

"Why-"

"Festus is running out of food." Right. Festus, a large golden retriever who often reminded Jason of Old Yeller had a large appetite.  The boys had adopted him as a pup from their friend Piper, who bred and trained dogs, both for show, police work and simple companionship. Jason chuckled as Leo tried his damndest to lift the bag into the cart. He assisted Leo after a few moments of Schadenfreude. The blonde dusted himself off, before heading off towards his final destination. Oh, he could finally go home, relax, put his feet up and watch  _the Discovery Channel_ until he inevitably passed out on the couch. Not necessarily in that order, but- ** _CRASH!_**

The sound of tin aroused Jason from his day dreams, turning to find Leo scrambling to pick up a bunch of canned goods he'd ran into. Jason momentarily reconsidered the decision to allow the teen who had failed his driver's ed course  _six times_ to push the cart in the grocery store. He sighed and once again went to assist him, wondering what in the name of Jesus H Fuck he had done to deserve this. Reconciling himself to spending slightly longer in this bleach bathed hell hole than he'd planned, Jason went to setting the cans back in an orderly fashion. He sighed upon placing the final can back in it's display case, before turning to find Leo heading over to the pharmecuticals. Jason wasn't sure he wanted to know.

The curly-haired teen seemed to have no qualms about listing  _every_ brand of condoms in the aisle. With the pharmacists looking at him the entire time, with a look Jason himself had donned-unsure of whether to laugh or call the funny farm. He was practitcally singing.

"Durex, Trustex, Lifestyles ,Crown and  _Pleasure Plus!"_ Jason shook his head, forcing the thoughts out of his head before it could return to haunt him.

"Jason!" Leo shouted.

"Yes, Leo?" The aforementioned blonde turned, only to see the elf-like teen holding a box of condoms like a model on  _Wheel of Fortune._

"Ahh?"

"Leo, we have condoms at home.

"Yes, but not  _ribbed_ condoms." He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I'm not entirely sure why I constantly agree to have sex with you."Jason replied, shaking his head.

"Because I buy things like  _Ribbed Condoms for her pleasure._ Or, you know, the pleasure of who's ever ass you're sticking your-"

"Please stop, Leo." Jason plead. Leo shrugged, tossing the box in the cart. Getting the tragic feeling that not only would he never end up buying toilet paper, Jason also began dreading the look on the cashiers face when they finally rung this stuff in. Everything from Condoms to Clorox was in his cart.   _Please,_ Jason thought.  _Let's just go get toilet paper._ He glanced around for his boyfriend, only to noticed the mops of curls bouncing as Leo raced to the electronics section. When Jason caught up to him, Leo had a precarious hold on a 57' flat screen tv.

"Leo! Put that down, it's expensive!" He shouted. 

"Fine,I was just looking anyway." The tanned boy replied, setting it back on the shelf. Jason practically  _dragged_ the cart to the toilet paper, threw the first bag in and stomped over to the checkout. The cashier, a girl with a lip piercing, blue streaked black hair and freckles gave him a confused, questioning look. She mumbled something about frat boys and rang up their items.

"Your total is two hundred dollars and eighty seven cents."

Glaring at Leo as he forked over his credit card, Jason was relieved to finally get into the parking lot.

_"Oooh, shiny!"_


	4. Sympathy For The Devil

**_[ A/N: So, this is very AU, and credit for this idea mostly goes to my sister who gave me the pointers about life in a group home. And I may have written myself a cameo-oops-please don't judge me. Leta is just an alternate version of the goddess Leto, you know, goddess of motherhood, so. I'm not entirely sure where this went, but enjoy.]_**  
 

* * *

St. Juno's Home For Troubled Youth. That's what the sign said anyway. Leo Valdez was almost 100% sure the inhabitants were the furthest thing from saints. He swallowed, glanced back at the social worker and then knocked on the door. A tall, thin woman with dark hair and coffee skin opened the door. The tag on her shirt read in big, bold letters   **LETA.** She smiled, before a loud crash echoed throughout the house. She raised her forefinger, signalling for him to wait a minute, turned and yelled.  
"Whoever that was had better pick that up or so help me!" She turned back to Leo, still smiling and extended her hand.  
"Hi, you must be Leo Valdez. My name is Leta. Welcome to St. Juno's." Leo shook her hand gingerly, before glancing behind her. He spotted the leather couch which occupied a girl with black hair, which was tied up in a bun reading a book with an equally dark cover. She was slightly tanned. To her right sat, a boy with golden blonde hair with his eyes glued to the television, it took Leo a moment to notice the controller in his hand. He was a similar tan to the girl on his left, maybe they were related. Then, on the other side of the boy sat a girl with curly brunette/brown hair which was being  braided by an Asian girl, who's hair was black and curly. Leo's eyes returned to Leta, before nodding.   
"I'll introduce you to everyone and then we'll get your bags-" She paused for a moment, as the social worker had flagged her attention. She nodded, a concerned look on her face.That was right. Leo had nothing. She cleared her throat and allowed him to come in.  
Promptly, she pulled a whistle to her lips and blew harshly. Twelve teens rushed into the living, all yelling at once.  
"Are we going for pizza?"  
"Is that a kid or a pinata?"  
"Is it viewing day?"  
"Do I have to be here?"  
"Jesus H Christ, Frank move over!"  
"Is it Karaoke Night?"  
"Hush!" Leta raised her voice. The noise died very quickly and all eyes were on Leta. The girl from the couch was holding her book in a way that now allowed Leo to read the cover,written across the front in apple green letters read  ** _Died In Your Arms_** followed by what he guessed to be the author,  ** _L. Moon._** The girl's blue eyes glanced at him before she looked at Leta.  
"This is Leo Valdez. He's going to be living here from now on. Jason, this is your new roommate." The blonde from the couch waved. _That would be Jason_ , Leo reminded himself.    
"Now, would you each be kind to introduce yourself to Leo. Tell him your name and something interesting about yourself." Leta continued. She pointed to book girl first. She stepped forward and waved.  
"My name is Diana, but you can call me Di. I'm Jason and Thalia's sister." She stepped back and returned to her book. Directly beside Jason, the brunette girl waved.   
"Hey, I'm Piper. My dad is the movie star-Tristan McLean." Leo could somewhat see the resemblance, but you could never know. The Asian girl simply nodded.  
"I'm Drew. My Dad makes sushi for a living." Beside her, the only other Asian, much shorter than Drew shrugged.  
"I'm Ethan. My dad also makes sushi."  
Flaming red hair was suddenly in his line of sight.  
"Sup. I'm Rachel. If you give me twenty bucks I'll read your palm."   
"Rachel can you,thank you. Hi, Percy Jackson, and I like swimming. A lot."  
"Percy, babe, no offence, but that's not interesting." A blonde, grey-eyed girl said. "Annabeth Chase, smartest person in the room." This was met with protest, boos and middle fingers until Annabeth shouted: "Recite Pi to nine places for me then!" When this was met with silence, Annabeth nodded. A pale girl with jet black hair, a pierced septum who looked like she ate G.I Joe dolls for breakfast stepped forward.   
"I'm Thalia. Jason is my brother. Di is my sister." Leo officially did not want to know what was in the water wherever the Grace family was from.  
Another girl stepped up, this one a girl with a mauve coloured complexion, hand held by a large Asian boy. From the moment she opened her mouth, Leo knew she was from Louisiana.  
"I'm Hazel, this Frank and the one who looks like he's in pain is my half brother Nico. They don't talk much, so." Frank nodded amicably but didn't speak.  
"Can we go now?" Drew asked in a whiny voice. Leta sighed, before nodding.  
"I get the tv!" Someone yelled.  
"No, you had it last time, step off!" Someone shouted back. Leo glanced up at Leta who just shrugged.  
"I don't even know anymore." 

 

 

Someone snuck in a bottle of Smirnoff. Leo wasn't saying who for fear of his life, but it was kind of...OK?  
Leta just sort of waved the situation off and told him to lock the doors.  
Diana was on the coffee table singing Let It Go, thanks to her being a complete lightweight when it came to alcohol. Jason was sitting in the corner by himself(Leo wasn't entirely sure if he was crying or what the deal was?) Piper and Drew were jumping on the couch, back up singing for Diana and The others were in the kitchen watching Percy attempt to make something he called 'Blue Food'. All Leo knew was that the blender was going at the same time as the mixer and that the breakers probably wouldn't hold out in this house.  
The Best hits Of Diana as he'd come to think of her singing switched to a slower song. Leo didn't mind the change.   
It was then that Leo realised Jason was  _staring_ at him. In a 'gods, I feel dumb but you're hot' kind of way. Holy heavens, Jason Grace was  _attracted_ to him, or, at least was when he was inebriated. Leo wasn't entirely sure how to feel about it-he was bi, he wasn't  _bothered_ or  _offended_ by it,mostly confused.  
But heck, Diana was singing and coming out of this party with a boyfriend couldn't be too bad, right?


	5. It Is What It Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what this is, honestly.

_**Canon Compliant: *Laughs Maniacally*** _

_**Pairing: Leo Valdez/Nico di Angelo** _

 

_**Diana Prince was by no stretch of the imagination a normal teenager.** _

Why, you ask?

Diana, or 'Diva' to her friends, had this way of doing things. She felt things stronger than most people.

See, Diana suffered from a Borderline Personality Disorder. Even the most platonic relationships were intense for her. She loved hard and lived passionately, trusted too much and forgave too little. She had never had long standing friendships, mostly considering she usually began to fucking hate them and then loved them and hated them like a light switch. Her friends were  _her_ friends and if you weren't her friend you could fuck off. Diana was not fucking stable, she couldn't decide what she believed.  Jason was very protective of his little sister, of course. But you sort had to let Di do things you normally wouldn't allow people to do because, well, it was Di and she needed a little more lee-way than most people. Of course, you could tell her no, but sometimes she would lose her fucking mind and Jason would probably be pissed off at you.

Now, considering the underlying causes for Borderline Personalty Disorder involves childhood trauma of some kind, let's find some in Di's child hood.

When she was three, Diana's mom Norma-Jean Prince dropped her on The Grace family door step and told Jason's father Zeus she was his daughter, and that Norma-Jean wanted nothing to do with her.  When she was six, Zeus took a 'business trip' to Mexico and they never saw him again. When she was 9, Beryl Grace got into a drunk driving accident and died, leaving Jason and Diana to be raised by their older sister Thalia. 

Childhood trauma achieved. You've earned a Fucked-Up-Life badge. 

So, the best people to be her best friends?

Leo Valdez, yes.

Nico di Angelo, probably not. Somehow though(Maybe a curtesy to Jason or maybe the kid had just grown on him), Nico had to figured out that not only was Di rather quick to understand boundaries and rarely tested them. But all things considered, Di made the most of the parameters given to her. He was rich, of course, but Di ferverently refused to ask for money(Valdez was a different story, but)because she said

"Your money, if you want to spend it on me I won't argue, but I sure as hell won't ask you to do it." 

It was quite the opposite with Leo. He was...Well, would it give you a clue that people tended to think they were dating(Which was not a thing considering Di was gay and Leo liked  _everyone._ ) Diana was quite content having her two friends. 

But Their relationship was still weird.

"Kay, but Nico is totally my sugar daddy." The Italian glanced over at the girl, who was draped across Valdez on the zebra print couch in the di Angelo mansion. Diana's fingers were tangled in Leo's hair, and chuckled at Nico's confused expression. 

"The fuck did you just say to me, Diva?" He asked, eyebrow raised very nearly into his hair line.

"I said you are my sugar daddy."

"Do you even know what that means?" Nico frowned.

"I'm aware. " She said, shaking her head. 

"You know, Di, I can sort of understand why people think you and Valdez are dating. You guys are like Piper and Jason, mushy and touchy and, eugh."

"Well christ Nico if you wanted to cuddle with Leo so bad I can move my legs and this can be a threesome." Nico rolled his eyes as Leo chuckled.

"Well, I am irresistable." Leo said. 

"I'd nearly go straight myself." Diana laughed.

"Really?"

"Probably not." She shrugged. Leo flushed for a moment, then laughed.

"OK, weirdos. "Nico said, adjusting his position on the couch as far away as possible.

"Wait, if Nico's your sugar daddy, what am I?"

"You are my wife." She said, before shaking her head. "No, wait, Nyssa is my wife, Clarisse is my queen, so you'll have to settle for side hoe."

"You're nice." Leo scoffed.

"Ahh,you love me." She smiled.

 

Watching the raven haired girl roll over in the chair, Leo glanced over at Nico.

"I don't ever want to be in her head."

"You don't ever want to be in my head." Nico snorted. Leo rolled his eyes. 

"You know, we all need serious therapy." He laughed.

"You aren't kidding, Valdez. Diva's fucked up, you're fucked up, I'm fucked up. Normal people, normal  _gay_ people aren't like this."

"You and Diva are the only ones who are gay. Besides,we're more like family than polygamists." 

"Yes, but..Well, considering I don't love Di the same way I love you, I'm not-" Realizing what he'd said, Nico shrunk into himself.

"What kind of love are we talking about?" Leo asked.

" I mean, I love her, but I'm  _in love_ with you." Nico admitted.

_"Well why didn't you say so!"_

 

 

 


	6. Red Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because I was listening to Roxanne by the Police and well   
> Yeah

  
**_Canon Compliant: Not really;similar, but not canon_ ** ****_  
Pairing: Leo Valdez/Nico di Angelo_

  
**_Leo didn't like talking about his past._**  
He'd done somethings he was a little ashamed of, all in the name of survival.   
Still, as he stared at himself in the mirror he felt his fingers instinctively reach for a bottle of perfume that he wasn't sure what possessed him to keep. He glanced over it, and was overwhelmed by memories.   
On a physical level, he could feel breath on his neck and fingers running over his skin. It was more than he could stand. Leo shut his eyes and sighed. 

He could recall the cold breezes on long nights. His finger ran over the earring in his left ear lobe, a personal symbol of his freedom. It placated him for the moment.   
"Those days are over. " Sang his boyfriend in his soft voice.

" You don't have to sell your body to the night. "

Leo smiled,glancing in the mirror at his boyfriend. 

"My name is not Roxanne, di Angelo. " He chuckled. Nico rolled his eyes.

"Yes,but I wonder why I will forever switch the lyrics to  _Valdez?"_ He teased. 

"But I've never worn a dress?" Leo shook his head. Nico sighed.

"And they say that I'm a fun killer. " He said, his fingers absent mindedly massaging Leo's scalp. The Latino hummed in approval, shutting his eyes. 

"You are,sometimes. " He said, smiling. Nico rolled his eyes, before kissing his boyfriend's cheek. 

"I know. " He mumbled, resting his face against Leo's neck.

It was Leo who was now playing with his boyfriend's hair. 

"Babe?" Nico made a non-commital noise, whether it was disapproval or confirmation he was listening was unclear to Leo,but he continued anyway. 

"Do you maybe want to-" Nico hushed him with a kiss.

" _I do if you do."_  


 


	7. Leo Plays An Instrument(Very Badly I Might Add)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While this is nowhere near canon, I thought it would be funny.  So, this might have come from Cassandra Clare's The Bane Chronicles. Don't judge.

_**Canon Compliancy: Like None** _

_**Pairing: Leo/Frank** _ ****

  
  
**_It was a sad moment in Leo Valdez's life when he was banned from Peru by the High Council of Peruvian of Witches._ **

 It was not just because the posters with a picture of him that were passed around the Downworld in Peru were so wildly unflattering. It was because Peru was one of his favourite places. He had had many adventures there and had many wonderful memories.

It was a beautiful day in Puno, the lake out the window a wash of blue and the sun shining with such dazzling force that it seemed to have burned all the azure and cloud out of the sky and left it all a white blaze. Carried on the clear mountain air, out over the lake water and through the house, rang Leo's  melody.

He was turning in a gentle circle under the windowsill when the shutters on Jason's  bedroom window slammed open.

"What - what - what are you doing?" He demanded.

"I am almost six hundred years old," Leo  claimed, and Jason  snorted, since Leo  changed his age to suit himself  every few weeks. Leo  swept on. "It does seem about time to learn a musical instrument." He flourished his new prize, a little-stringed instrument that looked like a cousin of the lute that the lute was embarrassed to be related to. "It's called a charango. I am planning to become a charanguista!"

"I wouldn't call that an instrument of music," Jason  observed sourly. "An instrument of torture, perhaps."

Leo  cradled the charango in his arms as if it were an easily offended baby. "It's a beautiful and very unique instrument! The sound box is made from an armadillo. Well, a dried armadillo shell."

"That explains the sound you're making," said Jason . "Like a lost, hungry armadillo."

"You are just jealous," Leo  remarked calmly. "Because you do not have the soul of a true artiste like myself."

"Oh, I am positively green with envy," Jason  snapped.

"Come now, Jason . That's not fair," said Leo. "You know I love it when you make jokes about your complexion."

Leo  refused to be affected by Jason's  cruel judgments. He regarded his fellow downworlder with a lofty stare of superb indifference, raised his  charango, and began to play again his  defiant, beautiful tune.

They both heard the staccato thump of frantically running feet from within the house, the swish of skirts, and then Piper  came rushing out into the courtyard. Her brown hair was falling loosely about her shoulders, and her face was the picture of alarm.

"Leo,Jason, I heard a cat making a most unearthly noise," she exclaimed. "From the sound of it, the poor creature must be direly sick. You have to help me find it!"

Jason immediately collapsed with hysterical laughter on his windowsill. Leo  stared at Piper for a moment, until he saw her lips twitch.

"You are conspiring against me and my art," he declared. "You are a pack of conspirators."

He began to play again. Piper stopped him by putting a hand on his  arm.

"No, but seriously, Leo," she said. "That noise is appalling."

Leo sighed. "Every Warlock's a critic."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I have already explained myself to Jason. I wish to become proficient with a musical instrument. I have decided to devote myself to the art of the charanguista, and I wish to hear no more petty objections."

"If we are all making lists of things we wish to hear no more . . . ," Jason murmured.

Piper, however, was smiling.

"I see," she said.

"Madam, you do not see."

"I do. I see it all most clearly," Piper assured her. "What is her name?"

"I resent your implication," Leo said. "There is no woman in the case. I am married to my music!"

"Oh, all right," Piper said. "What's his name, then?"

 

 

His name was Frank Zhang , and he was gorgeous.  
The three downworlders were staying near the harbour, along the shoreline of Lake Titicaca, but Leo liked to see and be part of life in a way that Jason and Piper, familiar with quiet and solitude from childhood on account of their parents, did not quite understand. He went walking about the city and up into the mountains, having small adventures. On a few occasions that Jason and Pipet kept hurtfully and unnecessarily reminding him of, he had been escorted home by the police, even though that incident with the Bolivian smugglers had been a complete misunderstanding.  
  
Leo  had not been involved in any dealings with smugglers that night, though. He had simply been walking through the Plaza Republicana, skirting around artfully sculpted bushes and artfully sculpted sculptures. The city below shone like stars arranged in neat rows, as if someone was growing a harvest of light. It was a beautiful night to meet a beautiful boy.  
The music had caught Leo's ear first, and then the laughter. He had turned to look and saw sparkling dark eyes and rumpled hair, and the play of the musician's fingers. Leo had a list of favoured traits in a partner - black hair, blue eyes, honest - but in this case what drew him in was an individual response to life. Something he hadn't seen before, and which made him want to see more.

He moved closer and managed to catch Frank's eye. Once both were caught, the game could begin, and Leo began it by asking if Frank taught music. He wanted to spend more time with Frank, but he wanted to learn as well - to see if he could be absorbed in the same way, create the same sounds.

 Even after a few lessons, Leo  could tell that the sounds he made with the charango were slightly different from the sounds Frank made. Possibly more than slightly. Jason and Piper both begged him to give the instrument up. Random strangers on the street begged him to give the instrument up. Even cats ran from him.

 

But: "You have real potential as a musician," Frank said, his voice serious and his eyes laughing.

Leo made it his policy to listen to people who were kind, encouraging, and extremely handsome.

So he kept at it with the charango, despite the fact that he was forbidden to play it in the house. He was also discouraged from playing it in public places by a crying child, a man with papers talking about city ordinances, and a small riot.

As a last resort, he went up to the mountains and played there. Leo was sure that the llama stampede he witnessed was a coincidence. The llamas could not be judging him.

Besides, the charango was definitely starting to sound better. He was either getting the hang of it or succumbing to auditory hallucinations. Leo chose to believe it was the former.   
  
"I think I really turned a corner," he told Frank earnestly one day. "In the mountains. A metaphorical, musical corner, that is. There really should be more roads up there."  
"That's wonderful,"Frank said, eyes shining. "I can't wait to hear it."  
They were in Frank’s house, as Leo was not allowed to play anywhere else in Puno. Frank’s mother and sister were both sadly prone to migraines, so many of Frank's lessons were on musical theory, but today Leo and Frank were in the house alone.  
"When can we expect your mother and sister back?" Leo asked, very casually.  
"In a few weeks," Frank replied. "They went to visit my aunt. Um. They didn't flee - I mean, leave the house - for any particular reason."  
"Such charming ladies," Leo remarked. "So sad they're both so sickly."  
Frank blinked.  
"Their headaches?" Leo reminded him.  
"Oh," Frank said. "Oh, right." There was a pause, then Frank clapped his hands together. "You were about to play something for me!"  
Leo beamed at him. "Prepare," he intoned, "to be astounded."  
  
He lifted the instrument up in his arms. They had come to understand each other, he felt, his charango and he. He could make the music flow from the air or the river or the curtains if he so chose, but this was different, human and strangely touching. The stumble and screech of the strings were coming together, Leo thought, to form a melody. The music was almost there, in his hands.  
When Leo looked at Frank, he saw Frank had dropped his head into his hands.  
"Er," Leo said. "Are you quite all right?"  
"I was simply overcome," Frank said in a faint voice.  
Leo preened slightly. "Ah. Well."  
"By how awful that was," Frank said.  
Leo blinked. "Pardon?"  
"I can't live a lie any longer!" Frank burst out. "I have tried to be encouraging. Dignitaries of the town have been sent to me, asking me to plead with you to stop. My own sainted mother begged me, with tears in her eyes - "  
"It isn't as bad as all that - "  
"Yes, it is!" It was like a dam of musical critique had broken. Frank  turned on him with eyes that flashed instead of shining. "It is worse than you can possibly imagine! When you play, all of my mother's flowers lose the will to live and expire on the instant. The quinoa has no flavour now. The llamas are migrating because of your music, and llamas are not a migratory animal. The children now believe there is a sickly monster, half horse and half large mournful chicken, that lives in the lake and calls out to the world to grant it the sweet release of death. The townspeople believe that you and I are performing arcane magic rituals - "  
"Well, that one was rather a good guess," Leo remarked.  
" - using the skull of an elephant, an improbably large mushroom, and one of your very peculiar hats!"  
"Or not," said Leo. "Furthermore, my hats are extraordinary."  
"I will not argue with that." Frank scrubbed a hand through his thick black hair, which curled and clung to his fingers like inky vines. "Look, I know that I was wrong. I saw a handsome man, thought that it would not hurt to talk a little about music and strike up a common interest, but I don't deserve this. You are going to get stoned in the town square, and if I have to listen to you play again, I will drown myself in the lake."  
"Oh," said Leo, and he began to grin. "I wouldn't. I hear there is a dreadful monster living in that lake."  
Frank seemed to still be brooding about Leo's charango playing, a subject that Leo had lost all interest in. "I believe the world will end with a noise like the noise you make!"  
"Interesting," said Leo, and he threw his charango out the window.  
"Leo!"  
"I believe that music and I have gone as far as we can go together," Leo said. "A true artiste knows when to surrender."  
"I can't believe you did that!"  
Leo waved a hand airily. "I know, it is heartbreaking, but sometimes one must shut one's ears to the pleas of the muse."  
"I just meant that those are expensive and I heard a crunch."  
Frank looked genuinely distressed, but he was smiling, too. His face was an open book in glowing colours, as fascinating as it was easy to read. Leo moved from the window into Frank's space and let one hand curl around Frank's callused fingers, the other very lightly around his wrist. He saw the shiver run through Frank's whole body as if he were an instrument from which Leo could coax any sound he pleased.  
"It desolates me to give up my music," Leo murmured. "But I believe you will discover I have many talents."  
  
That night when he came home and told Jason and Piper that he had given up music, Jason said,  
 "In five hundred years I have never desired the touch of another man, but I am suddenly possessed with a desire to kiss that boy on the mouth."  
"Hands off," said Leo, with easy, pleased possessiveness.

The next day all of Puno rose and gathered together in a festival. Frank told Leo he was sure the timing of the festival was entirely unrelated. Leo laughed. The sun came through in slants across Frank's eyes, in glowing strips across his skin, and Frank's mouth curled beneath Leo's. They did not make it outside in time to see the parade.


	8. Whoops?

  
**Canon Compliancy: _Canon,What Canon? Also, I decided Frank is Mandarin, because of the area his family is from (If that makes sense?)And also because just saying he's Chinese sounds extremely stereotypical and also because my offline translator only has Mandarin,so._**  
 

  
**_The first thing that crossed Frank Zhang's mind when he woke up was  
'I'm fucked.'_ **

Now, Frank did not say that lightly. He's been severely screwed, incredibly fubarred, totally done for and completely stuck.  
He's never been this fucked though, and the thought scared the shit out of him.  
Let's recap, shall we?  
Frank Zhang was born in Cheung Chau, part of the Islands district of Hong Kong and raised solely by his mother and Grandmother. In early 2016, Frank enrolled in a foreign exchange program and was paired with a family in the United States. The Grace family was rather unorthodox, considering there parents were both gone. The guardian was the oldest daughter Thalia, who was in her twenties. Her brother Jason and half sister Diana had never known their parents. His grandma had been wary, but his mother thought it would be interesting. The profile they had been sent said Thalia was a very responsible adult and had to prove this fact in a lengthy battle in court.  
He had spent the last five months in the small town of Olympus, New York, attending school, learning more English and also learning what it meant to be a teenager in America. Sure, by no means had he led a sheltered life in Cheung Chau, but some of the things Diana and Jason were allowed to do appalled him. His grandmother would have a coronary if she knew he had been allowed to stay out as late as he had, curse as much as he had and even say some of the things he had.  
His grandmother was very religious, very spiritual and very strict. She worried about him, especially since he become a teenager, and he could understand.  
During his childhood, there had been rashes of suicides on Cheung Chau and no one could understand why they had happened. These usually preceded other strange events and a lot of people were concerned.   
No, his childhood had not been sheltered, he'd seen death and horrors, violence beyond the scope of imagination. But his childhood had been safe, above everything else. He was alive, he probably wouldn't need  _too_ much therapy and yeah, he was a good person.  
Or at least he thought he was.  
Until exactly three minutes ago, when he awoke in a room that was not his own, in a bed that was not his own, adjacent to a mop of snoring black hair. Blinking away most of the cobwebs, he rubbed his eyes-holy shit, his heart stopped upon noticing a glint of gold.   
Holy shit, he prayed it most definitely wasn't what he thought it was.  
Deciding to put that thought far, _far,_  from his mind, Frank glanced around the room, he tried to piece together what happened the previous night.  
 _'Happy Birthday, Frankie boy!' Jason had shouted, shaking up a bottle of champagne until the cork blasted off. Almost immediately, Frank was showered with alcohol and smiling wishes of a grand birthday,  
'For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly fellow, which nobody can deny!' He was immediately presented with a large white cake, _ _Shēngrì kuàilè!_ _Written across it.  
'Diana called the embassy and had to sit on hold for six hours just to get that. She wanted it to be legit, you know.' Piper said, chuckling. Surrounded by his friends, Frank couldn't have wished for a better birthday,  
So, how the hell did he end up here?_  
In his best attempt to get up without waking the snoring female,Frank found himself performing maneuvers that would make a contortionist's jaw drop(and give a chiropractor a heart attack.)  
Finally free of the sheet's cloth grip, he decided to once again take stock of his situation. He could not hear the iPod on the docking station had started playing some soft rock. He rubbed his temples, before dressing very quietly. It was a bit of a jarring prospect, considering the photos tacked up on the walls seemed to be watching him, judging him for the obvious attempt to flee from the room's occupant.  He sighed quietly, before stumbling over DVD case, which read in blazing green letters  ** _Good Luck!_**  
That was not a great omen.  
Frank opened the door and tried as quietly as possible to get to his own room. Jason's door was thrown wide open and getting an eyeful of more than he wanted to see, Frank shook his head and opened his own door.  
Clothes were simply strewn about the place and he felt a small urge to clean it(small, we said small.)He shut the door and placed the disk in the player before sitting on his bed.   
 ** _'Ready, One, Two,Three Chug!' Jason said behind the camera, as Diana lifted the bottle of champagne to her lips and gulped several mouthfuls. After setting the bottle down, she belched loudly, causing everyone to laugh.  
"Who's next?" She yelled.   
Very soon, Leo was pouring out shots of Smirnoff and placing them in front of Diana and Piper, with Jason's now shaky camera work capturing the scene. Diana took hers, swallowed the liquid, licked the glass and set it rim down. Piper reached out a shaky hand, before quickly gulping hers down. It was clear both girls were very drunk and either could drop at any moment. Diana exhaled and reached for her next drink, her own hand shaking now too. She peered through the glass for a few moments, before downing it. Placing the glass back on the table, Diana smiled, slurring out  
'Check mate.'  
'Wrong game, Diva.' Piper mumbled, before landing face first on the table. Diana celebrated her victory by snatching Frank's drink, a glass of baijiu, and finishing it.   
It obvious now the film was edited, because the next clip showed Frank on the couch sobbing and Leo trying(albeit failing) to comfort him.  
'That's it.' The Latino slurred. 'Let it out, man.'  
'I don't know what to do!' He shouted.'I love my mom, but I don't want to leave!' He continued mournfully.  
'You can't stay, man. You aren't legal.' Leo said.  
'I don't want to go!'  
Honestly, the scene was pathetic, but if Frank could guess, he was about three bottles in the bag and the liquor did not seem to be setting well.  
'The only way you could stay without filling out all the fucking paperwork would be to marry an American-that's what my mom did."  
'Leo, you're a genius!' No, Leo was not, Frank was just very drunk.  
'Whoa, you can't marry me, bruh. I'm only an anchor baby and I'm taken.' Leo said, winking at the camera. Eugh.   
'Diva!' Well, shit.   
'Yeeesh?' Diana replied, her own slur seemed to amuse her.  
'You're American, let's get married.'  
'Sure!' This couldn't end well.  
Surely, this couldn't be legal?_**

**_Apparently, at the Rent-a-Padre chapel outside the local supermarket(no joke) it was.  
As soon as they left the chapel, everything seemed slightly...Odd.   
The last clip, which was actually just a few seconds long, was a door slamming and a loud thump. He did not want to know what was happening._ **

 

Frank rubbed his eyes and turned the TV off completely. He couldn't help the smile that erupted on his face when he heard Leo downstairs shouting  
"Where the fuck are the fucking Froot Loops?" Only for Jason to say  
"On that top shelf, babe, open your eyes." He was not smiling, however, when he heard Diana screaming from her room. He groaned, expecting this, and opened his door. He could see his housemate(he would  _not_ yet admit what had happened) running down the stairs. He begrudgingly fell in behind her and watched her race into the kitchen.  
"Jason, why does Piper keep saying I got married last night?" The question aroused silence from her brother and his boyfriend. Leo's mouth, stuffed with cereal, hung in a small 'o', almost as though he was debating his next choice of words. Jason glanced up at Frank, gave him an obvious  _get moving_ gesture and approached Diana as Frank exited to the adjacent living room.   
He glanced in as Jason pointed to a piece of paper on the fridge-who the fuck pins a marriage certificate to the fridge like a third grader's drawings?-And Diana's mouth hit the floor. She looked at the certificate, then to Frank, back to the paper, back to Frank and back to the paper.   
"When the fuck....Where" But then she rounded on Frank, her confusion fading and growled "You!"  
It took both Jason and Leo to hold her back, with all her kicking and screaming. It took a moment, before she groaned and slid down the front of the fridge. "Fuck." He hissed, resting her head in her hands. Frank was not entirely sure what he was supposed to do now.   
"Jason, call the embassy and ask them what we can do. I don't know how this kind of thing works internationally." She said, finally. "Leo-" She looked up at the Latino and shook her head. "Just make tacos or something." She said, standing and facing Frank. "You, fuck, I don't care what you do, just go away right now. I can't deal with you right now.."She ordered. Frank nodded, sighed and headed to the rec room.  _Well, so much for wedding bliss._  
The floor was littered with bottles, thanks to last night's party. He figured they'd gone through about sixteen bottles.   
Why had the entire process seemed so easy? What happened now? Fuck, he didn't know.  
There ought to have been a law against getting married when you're drunk.

Sitting in front of the legal consultant at the embassy was  _not_ how Frank imagined the next few hours of his life.  
"So, wait...You're telling me you got drunk and got married?" He asked. Diana sighed and handed him the marriage certificate. As it passed, Frank glanced over the thing.  
"Your middle name is"  
"Don't say a word!" She snapped. Frank raised his hands in acquiescence and turned back to the lawyer.  
"Wow, you stepped in it now, kid." He laughed. Frank exhaled.  
"Is there anything you can do?"  
"Yes, but the paper work will take a while to get here and there's a bunch of meetings to go through. You'll have to go through all the annulment paperwork and then have meetings with the Foreign Exchange Program. Sign a bunch of stuff and then wait for the application to go through, which can take weeks to months.I recommend you both save yourselves some grief and find a way to make this work, since we'd also have to change your citizenship again,which will be an even longer process."The lawyer, Feng replied. Diana  rubbed her temples, a few stray hairs hanging down her face. Frank bit his lip, watching her walk out. His curiosity still not satiated, however, he glanced at the typed portion of the certificate.   
Her middle name was _Barry_. 

 

Needless to say, his mother was  _less_ than pleased when he told her the news in their skype call.  
" _You got married?_ "She yelled in furious Mandarin.  
" _It was an accident, mom, neither of us meant for it to happen."_  
" _Frank,what are you going to do?_ " She asked, relenting with a sigh.  
" _We haven't decided. There's so much paperwork and so much waiting. I don't  know if it will even go through."_ He said. His mom frowned.  
 _"I know. Grandma and I have booked a flight out there, we should be there in a few days._ "  
" _Mom, please tell her to be nice to Diana._ "  
" _You know your grandmother, Frank. I can only tell her so many times._ "

 

His grandmother was definitely not nice about it. Even at the airport.  
" _Xié'è de nǚrén! Bēiliè de jìnǚ! Shìfàng wǒ de sūnzi zài shàng yīcì! Wǒ yāoqiú nǐ bǎ tā shìfàngle yīcì!"_  She yelled, causing Diana to step back in distress.  
"I don't know what's scarier, the fact that she's screaming at me or the fact that I can't understand her." She mumbled.   
" _Chénmò nǐ de huǎngyán! Bùyào hé tā shuōhuà!_ "  
"Mother, please!" Frank's mother, Emily, plead.  
" _Wǒ xiǎng jiù wǒ de sūnzi cóng zhège xié'è de nǚwū!_ " His grandmother argued.  
" _Nǎinai de, tā bùshì wūpó! Wǒ dāyìng!_ " Frank said, standing in front of the old woman now. His face conveying concern. "Please, grandma." The woman sighed, before glancing back at Diana.  
"You watch yourself,  little woman."Diana nodded furiously.

Diana was walking on eggshells around Grandma Zhang for most of the day, although she didn't seem to be really speaking to anyone.She had holed herself up in her room and had her meals delivered by Jason. Frank's grandma was getting really cantankerous about everything, insisting that he 'start acting like a husband'(like, what did that mean?) All he knew was that Diana probably didn't want to see him and he was sleeping on the couch tonight because his grandmother insisted on sleeping in his room. His mother kept telling him she would sleep on the couch as well, but he couldn't make her do that.  
" _You could try sleeping with your  wife._ " His grandmother muttered,slipping into her native language to hide the jibe from their hosts.   
" _Mama."_ Emily snapped, turning to the elderly woman as she sat in the rocker, knitting. Grandma Zhang looked at her, innocence on her face, but malicious glee in her eyes.    
"Grandma, I don't want to rush into"  
"For cripes sake,boy. She's your wife, get used to it."  
"For the time being, until we decide if we're having it annulled. "  
"Absolutely not. You got yourself into this, you can live with it."  
"Mom-" Emily began.  
"No! I will not see such dishonor in my family. " His grandmother said, slamming her knitting down.  
"My son is not the only person in this marriage!" Emily shouted. There was suddenly the creaking of a door opening. Diana took a step down the stairs, her eyes dark and hair flown out as though she hadn't brushed it all day. She patted down the stairs, avoiding eyes as she entered the kitchen.  
" _He's not the only one who said 'I do' either!_ " The old woman spat, concealing her words in Mandarin.   
"Mother." Emily warned.  
" _Don't 'mother' me, Emily! She has no right to think that she can use your son and my grandson like a swinging door!_ "  
"Grandma, stop it, please." The old woman gave him a look.  
" _You can't go through life thinking you can fix every mistake you've made, Frank. Some of them you have to live with. And this is one of them._ "  
"Mom, let him make his own choice." Emily warned. They were silent again as Diana exited the kitchen. She glanced at them, before blinking several times.  
"Oh, please don't stop arguing on my account. You've made it pretty clear I've effectively ruined his life, so it's only fair you do the same to me. Have a nice day." She said, before turning and running up the stairs. Frank, who was now so,  _so done,_  groaned and ran after her.   
"Diana! Diana!" He shouted, knocking on her door.  
"What, Fuck, can a girl be miserable in peace?" She yelled, opening the door.  
"It's not like that,Di"  
"Oh, really. Your grandmother nearly beat me to death with a cane when we drove her back from the airport, your mother keeps itching for you to sign annulment papers and be done with me and you seem to want that too, so why don't you just go back to China and forget I exist, that's what you want, isn't it?"  
"Well excuse me, two weeks ago you couldn't wait to end this marriage!"  
"Well excuse me for changing my mind! Sure, I was angry and confused, but I thought it wouldn't be  _this_ bad living with you, because I thought you were a nice guy, but I guess not!" She shouted.   
"Well I'm sorry my family doesn't exactly think marrying when you're only sixteen is such a great thing!"  
"I'm sorry I ever met you!" Diana barked, slamming the door in his face. Frank exhaled loudly and walked over to the stairs. He paused, a picture he'd seen a thousand times at the top of the stairs catching his eyes. A young girl, who couldn't have been older than three was smiling(without front teeth) next to a kneeling man with a hooked fish in her hand.  
 _ **'Who's this?' He'd asked when Jason was giving him the official tour of the house.  
'That's Diana and our dad. The only picture he ever took with her before he split.' The blonde had explained. **_  
Somewhere in his head, Frank could see the same small girl racing down these same stairs after the man, without a smile, instead tears running down her face as he carried a suitcase to his car.  
' _Daddy please!Wait!'_  Her childish voice called. To no response, of course.  
Frank glanced over at Diana's door.  
She'd had a repeating pattern in her life of people just  _leaving_ because they didn't want her. And Frank was just going to be another person who walked all over her and then walked away.   
 _ **You can't fix every mistake you make in life. Sometimes you have to live with them.**_  
 _Dammit._  
Frank sighed and made his way downstairs.  
"Is everything ok, Frank? We heard shouting." His mother asked, concerned.  
"She's...I... I don't know, mom. She's pissed off and now I'm confused." His grandmother snorted,causing mother and son to turn to her.  
"Sometimes, you are such a man, _Fai_. Of course she's angry. Despite the circumstances, she can still manage to be  because you not wanting to stay with her, to her, means there's something wrong with her." She said. Emily raised an eyebrow at her mother and bit her lip.  
"That's....That's actually very insightful, mom." She said, glancing at Frank. "She's right, you know."   
"You don't say." Frank replied, in a  _No Shit_ tone. His mother rolled her eyes and looked back at Grandma Zhang.  
"What are you thinking?" The elderly woman asked.  
"I'm thinking you should tell the lawyer to cancel the annulment papers."  He said.As he ran back upstairs,he could hear his grandmother laughing.  
Yeah, yeah, he was well aware that the idea was fucking insane, but hey.  
 _This way, everyone would be happy._  
Sort of.  



	10. Three AM Opera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know. I was bored.

The fucking broad was at it again. Three in the fucking morning and she was just going at it. _"Oh!Unh!Yes!Aw,fuck,yes!Oh,Frank!_ " Diana could not remember the Banshee's name nor at the moment did she care. Christ,What the fuck was Frank doing to her,shoving a hot curling iron up her cunt? Diana banged her head against the wall and groaned. Shoving the pillow over her head,Diana slammed her fist against the wall. All noises ceased for a moment.  " _She's just being a bitch again._ " Banshee said in a bored tone. Diana sprang to her feet. She was the bitch here? If Banshee wanted a bitch, a bitch is what she'd get. "Hey,is Ron Jeremy in there with you guys or what?" 

" _Fuck you!_ " Banshee yelled.

"Thats his job!"

**_* ><*><*><*><*><*><*><*_ **

Frank carried the laundry hamper to the basement and opened the laundry room door,slighty surprised to see Diana folding her clothes.

"Can I just what the hell?"

"No,no you may not." The blonde snapped,throwing her work shirt into the hamper.

"You screamed at us while we were having sex,Diana,that's not cool." Frank said. This caused her to spin on her heel-there was practically flames coming from her nostrils.

"No,you know what isn't cool,Frankie-Boy? That banshee keeping my ass awake until five in the motherfucking morning just so you can get your dicky wet!" She barked,snatching her hamper and storming off.  It wouldn't have been so bad if Frank Zhang was just Diana's neighbour. But they had inhabited the building the longest; they were friends. The worst of it all--Diana had feelings for Frank. Romantic,loving, _sexual_ feelings for Frank. She could take the thought of him having sex with someone else. She couldn't take hearing it every night like clockwork _slowly ticking away_ until it drove her bonkers.

_*** ><*><*><*><*><*><*><*** _

Diana didn't have tickets,yet she was being treated to the Three AM Opera again. Grinding her bed into the wall loudly, Diana got up to get a snack. She could even gear the banshee in the kitchen--it was like she was trying to piss Diana off. Settling on some cashews,Diana returned to bed,still front row centre to the audio porn show. " _Yes_!"Banshee cried loudly. Diana had an idea.

"No!"Diana shouted,laughing at herself.She'd barely gotten any sleep. She was childish when she was tired.

" _Yes_!"

"No!"Diana shouted.

 _"Frank,I'm so close!_ " Banshee yelled. "Joe,I'm miles away!"Diana screamed. " _Oh for fuck sake,shut the hell up!_ "

"Wish you would!" Diana barked. Thankfully, it was quite for the rest of the night.

_*** ><*><*><*><*><*><*><* ** _

The next night,Diana was prepared. With a keyboard she borrowed from Leo, who's soundbox had been ripped out and replaced with a very titillating soundtrack. She waited until Banshee moaned softly,before hitting a key. A loud,ripping fart noise erupted from the keyboard and Diana almost laughed maniacally. " _Frank,that's disgusting_!" Banshee shouted. Diana laughed a little listening to Banshee berating poor Frank for doing something as crude and gross as farting. "But I didn't!" Frank protested. There was a lot of screaming that night,but it wasn't very happy. Diana wasn't sure that this arrangement made her any happier.

**_* ><*><*><*><*><*><*><* _ **

Frank was a wreck. He looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep. As he lumbered into the laundry room, he nodded to Diana.

"I'm sorry that Kelli has been keeping you up at night. I didn't really realize that she was  _that_ loud until she was screaming at me."He mumbled,setting the hamper down and resting his head on the washer.

"I'm sorry too...I only meant for her to stop screeching, I didn't think she'd start yelling at  _you_." Diana admitted. For a minute, she thought Frank had started crying. 

"Inspired,Diana. Immature but brilliant." He finally said and Diana realized that he was laughing. 

"You're not mad?"

"I'm too tired to be mad." He was practically howling with laughter. "Besides...She had it coming." After a few minutes of laughter,Diana sighed.

"Why do you stay with her? She"

Diana was interrupted by Banshee's voice at the top of the stairs.

" _Frank_!" He sighed and pointed to his laundry hamper.

"Di,could you please"

"Yeah,sure." She nodded,waving as he left. 

" _Was **she** down there?" _Banshee asked.

"She has a right to do her laundry,Kelli."

" _She's such a prude, I can see why no one wants to have sex with her."_ Diana clenched her fist so hard the detergent pack in her hand exploded.  Diana exhaled, wondering what right Kelli had to treat people like that.

Kelli had gone to high school with Diana,Jason and the others,but she was older than them-she was the same age as Thalia. Kelli had made Goode High School hell for group,but when she moved into their building,she claimed to have 'changed' and struck up a relationship with Frank.

Diana knew it was a sham from the start--of their relationship,that is. She had genuinely thought Kelli had matured when she first moved in.

**_ *><*><*><*><*><*><* _ **

It was a rather quiet night so far. Diana was sitting in front of the TV watching Moonraker with a bowl of popcorn when Banshee started screaming. It sounded like they had already been fighting when Banshee raised her voice.

" _You always take her side! Do you want to have sex with her, is that it?"_

"Kelli,quiet down"

" _Why should you I? I have a right to yell!"_

"Do you want me to get kicked out?"

" _I don't care!"_

 _"_ Kelli she just asked you to keep down when it's early-"

 _"You **are** having sex with her!" _ Diana raised an eyebrow. _A frog on a springboard couldn't have made a leap like that_. Diana threw her door open and yelled

"I'm trying to watch something here,keep it down!" The door of Frank's apartment flew open and Banshee raced out,giving Diana a sharp slap across the face.

" _Stay away from Frank!_ " Diana nursed her cheek for a moment,before glaring at Kelli. 

"What the hell gives you the right to accuse me of being a slut and assaulting me in my own home? Then,I suppose it takes one to know one." She said, a cheerful smile on her face.

" _You're crazy. You two deserve eachother."_  The older girl snapped,before stalking off. 

"What brought this on?" Diana asked. Frank turned red.

"She wanted to..."he cleared his throat and continued. "I told her I had a headache and said only if she kept it down. And I,ugh...Accidentally called her the wrong name." He admitted.

Diana nodded. "That'd do it." She said, gesturing for him to come in. He followed her and shut the door behind him.

"You aren't kidding." He chuckled. Diana offered the large fellow some popcorn which he gladly accepted. Turning back to the movie,she smiled as the characters Dolly and Jaws were having a moment-romantic note and all.

Jaws was at least seven foot and Dolly was about 5'5. It was actually really cute. She sighed and sat down. 

"Just out of curiosity..."Diana began,turning to face him."What name did you call her?" Frank met her eyes,before resting his forehead against hers.

" _I called her Diana."_


End file.
